Hai Azizah, selamat ya buat salah satu momen yang terjadi hari ini.

Berat juga ya ternyata. Ga semudah itu meniadakan rutinitas yang sempat hadir lalu hilang. Walau hanya sebentar.

 Dua hari ini sedang dikagetkan dengan berita duka dari orang terdekat, orang tua sahabat.

Inget banget, 1 Desember 2007. Ayah sahabatku ini berpulang lebih dulu. Aku tau dia sangat terpukul. Waktu itu kami masih duduk di kelas 7. Aku pun sangat terpukul. Aku tidak kenal secara personal tapi aku merasa dekat dengan beliau.

Hari-hari selanjutnya tidak mudah dijalani oleh keluarga sahabatku ini.

Dan pada hari Kamis, 8 Juli 2021. Aku mendengar lagi ibu dari sahabatku ini menghembuskan nafas terakhrinya di saat beliau sedang menderita penyakit yang menjadi wabah akhir-akhir ini. Belum kering air mata dan tanah pemakamannya, 9 Juli 2021 suami almarhumah juga meninggalkan dunia ini.

La hawla wala quwatta illa billah.

Bagaimana Allaah menguji keluarga ini dengan bertubi-tubi. Tapi hamba-Mu ini hanya bisa berharap Engkau permudah urusan sahabatku ini ya Allaah. Hamba mohon. Engkau sebaik-baiknya perencana. Engkau yang memberi ujian, Engkau pula yang memberi solusi. Engkau pemilik segala yang ada di muka bumi ini dan kepada-Mu semua ini kembali.

Allaah, kau peringatkan hamba bahwa memang dunia ini tidak abadi.

Ya Allaah.

Appreciation

Once I have you-named-it-friend who was being united by the circumstances.

We were on the same year of academy and we are being a workmate.

We were insisted to be as close as siblings. That's how the institution works.

A year after we were being forced-sibling, I didn't feel anything but blessed. We were such a good team for struggling in this job. A little bit argued wouldn't beat my blessings. Such a good way to started.

Then, in some points, maybe just because we felt like we were that close enough so we didn't appreciate otherself as a person who needed to be appreciated by one another, we walked as 2 humans who didn't depend on each other. I feel like this person always become so stubborn like he is the bestest and I always wrong. For the sake of forced-sibling I accepted it as how he expressed his affection. Patient was the best way to get out from this problem for myself.

But, by the time goes, it became worse. I didn't know why but it became disrespectful. If I told something I was being left and he didn't hear me at all. We argued more than just we kept our mind but more like fight. And now he never asked me to do such a favor. I felt like I am useless and being unappreciated. I don't know what actually happened? 

But from now on, I realize it is the way for me to walk out from this pretended siblings and become solitude is the best way. Because depends and hopes to someone is the worst thing to do.